Relationships are difficult. Finding someone you actually like during the initial stage takes horrible dates, awkward conversations and a whole lot of failed attempts during which you put your feelings on the line. Then, when you find that someone you like, the celebrations start with fiery passions flying, and endless nights where you cant keep your hands off each other.
What comes next is where most relationships end, and all this hard work, and invested feelings go to waste. In that stage, couples’ initial wave of intense passions take a dip, and they are left wondering whether that was all there is to it.
There is no one answer fits all to that question, but for many relationships, the answer is no; there is much more in store for you and your bae. All you need to do is increase your intimacy, and you will take your relationship from the flying passions stage to an even better stage.
The nine ways below will help you increase the intimacy and connection in your relationship whether you are fresh out of the initial heat, or if you are hitting a plateau after years of being together.
1. Give Thanks
One of the pitfalls most couples fall into is taking each other for granted. What felt exceptional in the past becomes mundane, and you soon start taking things about your partner, the things they do for you for granted or even their presence in your life for granted.
This one mistake can cause a great amount of damage to a relationship. The partner taken for granted starts to feel unappreciated, and even their most heartfelt efforts are met with coldness, and so they stop to make an effort. Luckily, avoiding this is fairly easy. Give thanks to you partner for who they are and for what they do often.
Do this out loud, expressing gratefulness to them, but also do it more frequently between you and yourself. Reminding yourself of the things you love about your bae, and recognizing the things they do to make you happy will change the vibe you give them to a more loving one.
2. Date Night
Remember the excitement of those first dates? The getting ready, picking an outfit and choosing a venue? Don’t let these feelings become just memories. Keep the fire alive with a weekly date.
Not only will this keep you excited about spending time, going places and doing things together, the date will give you some quiet time where you are both free of everyday distractions to focus on each other, really talk, and really listen, creating shared memories and intimacy.
3. The Weekly Talk
People take the time to maintain their cars, but not their relationships. The fact remains that nothing survives the test of time without maintenance. Even when there are no big issues at hand, small grievances and negative feelings can pile up leading to feelings of disconnect and resentment.
So, give your relationship the care it deserves, and create a weekly hour where you both discuss any issues you have with one another. Talking alone can help get over small problems, but you will also be able to make each other happier after this conversation, and you will increase your intimacy.
4. Look To The Future
People spend a lot of energy planning for their future and painting a picture of what they should do to get to the places they want. Don’t let your partner be alone in this. Show real interest in your partners future plans, and share your own.
See how both your plans work together and create a mutual picture of where you will each be, and where you will both be together, in the future.
5. Look Into The Past
Enjoy those reminiscent smiles as you listen to stories of your loved one’s childhood, and make their heart pound with a new kind of love as you share your own. These stories will help you both understand each other better, and feel very close to each other.
Understanding how your partner became the person s/he is now, and what shaped his personality, and letting him see how you too developed into who you are today, will create a deep connection between you two.
6. Quality Over Quantity
Remember that it is not about how much time you spend together, how much you talk or how many dates you go on; it is about the quality of all these things. One conversation where you are both present and carefully listening, communicating and emotionally connecting is better than hours of mindless chatter.
A date you are looking forward to is better than a mundane night out at the same old spot you are growing tire of. And, quality passionate nights are better than nightly repetitive rituals.
7. Let Them Go
When you love someone, you want to spend all your waking minutes with them, but when this takes place all the time, it starts to take a toll on the relationship. Give your partner the chance to be alone, and with other people. Let them go out with friends without texting them all the time they are out. Do the same for yourself, too.
Take a pass at a mundane event you feel obligated to attend with your partner in favor of a quiet night alone with your favorite TV show. Being happy apart will automatically draw you to your partner, and make you appreciate your time together more.
8. Only You
The Dalai Lama said that ‘The best relationship is one where your love for each other exceeds your need for each other’. This couldn’t be more true. Many of the problems couples face have one reason in common: they are looking to their partner to fill some kind of void inside them. The emotional need outs strain on the partner and the relationship.
Try to work out any issues you have on your own without expecting your partner to be a cure. Come to the relationship whole, and enjoy the intimate and peaceful union of two whole people who don’t put pressure on each other.
9. Complete Seduction
There are three types of seduction: physical, intellectual and emotional. If you focus on only one part, then it’s time to pay attention to the other two. The more elements draw you together, the stronger your relationship will be.
Relationships are not a piece of cake. Humans are ever changing; we all change and we grow. The two people who first meet and fall in love are not the same two people who are living together two years later. It is the maintenance we put in that allows our involving personalities to fall involve with each other over and over again. Use the above tips to keep your intimacy high and your relationship strong, and enjoy every moment with your loved one.
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