Premature ejaculation (PE) is one of the most frustrating problems that a man can deal with. I’m Dr. Karen Gless, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist with a specialization in sex therapy. I have over 25 years experience working in the field and one thing I’ve learned is that men with PE really want to satisfy their partner.
But it seems that the harder they try to do a good job at sex, the easier it is to fall victim to PE. The reason for this lies in the nervous system and its way of dealing with the difference between getting sexually turned on and then having an orgasm.
The Two Sexual Systems
There are two different parts of the nervous system in charge of our bodily functions. We can call one the relaxation system and it’s the one that helps us relax, digest our food, and get turned on during sex. This is the system in charge of a man developing an erection and a woman getting lubricated.
The other system is the action system and it is in charge of exercising, working hard and having an orgasm during sex. Of course, these two systems do other things, but what matters during sex is that the relaxation system gets us turned on and the action system is in charge of the orgasm.
The two states of getting turned on and having an orgasm feel very different. Men who can last longer know the difference between the two states and know how to stay relaxed so they don’t have an orgasm too soon.
Early on in working with men who have a problem with PE, I learned that the change has to take place on a deeper level in the mind and the body. The value of a recorded self hypnosis session is that it gets to the deeper mind and you can listen to it over and over. So what are the advantages of using self hypnosis to overcome PE?
The Value of Self Hypnosis
In self hypnosis you are learning to experience relaxation. Quite a few men who have problems with PE try hard to succeed and have rarely experienced real relaxation. By learning to really relax you are opening the door to deeper sexual pleasure.
In self hypnosis you can experience thoughts and feelings of sexual arousal without worrying about having an orgasm. Then you can learn how to shift from being a man who fights against PE to being a man who can drift during sexual intercourse and enjoy those relaxed, pleasurable feelings without suddenly shifting into orgasm.
Quit Fighting, Start Enjoying
When you fight against having an orgasm, you are engaging the action system and that already brings you closer to shifting from the relaxation system to the action/orgasmic phase of sexual intercourse. This is why so many men with problems with PE try to fight against pleasure and then suddenly have an orgasm. The key to dealing with PE is staying in the relaxed state. When you fight against sexual pleasure, you are starting to shift unconsciously into the action/orgasmic phase. Self hypnosis makes it possible to stay with sexual pleasure in a relaxed way without slipping into orgasm before you are ready.
Another advantage to self hypnosis is that it can be used with other approaches such as pills or creams. For example, Virectin is composed of natural ingredients that help a man to develop and maintain an erection. In my practice I have seen MDs prescribe some of the ingredients found in Virectin such as L-Arginine with great success. Such products can help a man have success in intercourse and use that as an opportunity to relax and enjoy sexual pleasure. This is one change that can last a lifetime.