Sexual Dry Spell – 10 Common Tips Will Help You To Conquer It

Probably you have seen (or been) a honeymooner while on holiday; they tend to sit while canoodling and whispering into each other’s ears, absolutely oblivious of what’s going on around them.

Most noticeably, honeymooners rarely keep their hands off each other. If you can mention to them that they need to consider a possibility of a sexual drought in the future, they can simply look at you and wonder if you’re sane and simply go back to their sweet nothings.

However, most people who have been in romantic relationships and perhaps marriages understand that you aren’t mad. Having a sexual drought especially in long-term relationships is a common thing.

And this sounds like the curse of modern life. The sexual dry spell is rightly considered a problem and a common one. Keep in mind that regular sex is essential for one’s overall well-being and keeping a romantic relationship healthy as well.

Here are the best ten techniques to overcome sexual dry spell in your romantic relationship[1].


*All individuals are unique. Your results can and will vary.

1. Avoid Using The Word “Dry Spell.”

Regardless of how long you have gone without sex, the moment you assign the phrase ‘dry spell’ to your situation, the situation will sound like something that happens all the time.

The issue with most guys who use this word is that it is associated with a subtle element of self-pity. After all, people use the word dry spell to describe an unsatisfactory circumstance to others.

In fact, the phrase puts in a situation where you are at risk of making it a self-fulfilling prophecy. This means that the more you talk about the dry spell, the dryer it’s likely to get. The situation has far-reaching consequences especially when it comes to your interaction with women.

When you interact with women with the dry spell thoughts in your mind, you will aim at breaking the dry spell which results in desperation.

2. Assume The Responsibility

It’s your fault that you have a dry spell. It’s not your game that sucks. While there are different causes of a dry spell, the situation can be resolved by making a few changes. Having a dry spell isn’t your fate.

No one turned off vagina tap just because you’ve just hit 33 years and you are still single. Neither is it you ignored a sex from a colleague six months ago because you thought you were in love with Linda.


*All individuals are unique. Your results can and will vary.

It turns out that Linda was cheating on you and currently you’re single with fewer options. The worst part is that your colleague was sleeping with your boss!

It’s time to quit the self-pity and self-blame game. Focus on what you can do about your dry spell and not why it’s happening.

3. Never Pay For Sex

Never Pay For Sex
While the dry spell situation gets hard, you should never allow yourself to reach a point where you can pay for sex to break the slump.

Otherwise, paying for sex will result in low self-esteem, spend more money, and you’re at risk of making the entire situation a crunch. This implies that next time you will have a dry spell, you will evade the responsibility by simply paying for sex.

4. Work On Your Ego

Most people have a false sense of entitlement. Sexually inexperienced men, especially those who have had two sexual partners over the last 30 years are expecting to start dating top-tier women with limitless options with guys.

Thus, such men keep on turning down ladies who are sexually interested in them because the lady ‘is not my type.’

5. Consider Changing The Environment

You probably have a nice home, great looking, and perhaps never have had a problem getting laid. If you realize that you’re experiencing a dry spell, then, consider changing your environment.
You may consider adjusting your working hours or moving to a new place temporarily. This may help you to overcome the dry spell[2].

6. It’s Time To Change Your Game

When dating, maintain an open mind. Some concepts, especially ones you have been reading about are internalized by acting and practicing what you have read regardless of whether you’re skeptical the idea or not.

Most people read great stuff and dismiss it just because they think that it doesn’t work. In most cases, these ideas work, and it’s time to practice them and change your game.

7. Vary Your Style

Vary Your Style
Check yourself in a mirror. Could your dry spell be resulting from something simple as taking too much junk? Or buying into a fad? Perhaps a specific fashion fad has expired, and you are still wearing that jacket and going for that hairstyle that belongs to 1990s!

It’s time to keep you masculine style timeless and classic. Keep off fads.

8. Work On Your Attitude

Many people use the dry spell situation as an excuse to binge on porn, spend much time with unproductive acquaintances, or indulge into unhealthy habits of playing video games all the time. Keep in mind that an appropriate response to dry spell should be the right action.

The action should be short, effective, prioritized, and usually the roughest route to regain momentum in your sex life.
This is the attitude you need.

9. Practice Realistic Expectations

If you go ahead and set your bar at an unachievable height, then, you are doomed to get disappointed. Keep in mind that acceptance reveals a mature outlook in sex. This doesn’t mean you don’t want sex.

It simply implies you practice realistic expectations regarding how you approach your sex activities. You have to accept the fact that you aren’t that couple in porn or TV who have spontaneous, hot sex all the time.

10. Expand Your Definition Of Sex

Expand Your Definition Of Sex
Most sexual partners typically perceive sex via a narrow definition of intercourse or penetration where either both partners or one of them experiences a mind-blowing orgasm.

If this is how you define sex, then, it’s time to shit your definition. Rather than penetration, focus on building a strong bond between you and your partner[3].

Read More: 10 Best Sexual Performance Techniques You Must Know For Better Sex


The ten tips discussed in this article can help you ease the burden of the sexual dry spell. Keep in mind that life has a different way of steamrolling a couple’s good sex life especially when the couple has kids to take care of, careers to pursue, household chores, and more. However, you can always beat a sexual dry spell using any of the tips given in this article.

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Lauren Dummit is an experienced psychotherapist in private practice in Santa Monica. She specializes in helping clients navigate the journey of recovery from trauma, substance abuse, eating disorders and behavioral addictions/compulsions. Her unique style treats emotional discomfort and pain as an avenue for self-discovery and personal growth. As clients become better able to navigate their inner obstacles, they will rediscover their capacity to find balance and live a life that is healthy, joyful and free. Lauren creates a comfortable atmosphere where the meaning of each individual’s subjective experience is respected. She emphasizes insight, self-awareness and empowerment to help her clients grow, learn about themselves, and lead more gratifying lives. Through an alliance of trust and collaboration, she works together with her clients to understand the meaning of symptoms. She is flexible and holistic in her response to each person with a treatment plan that is adjusted to the uniqueness that his occurring moment to moment between her and the client and providing referrals for collaborative services when appropriate. She utilizes a Cognitive Behavioral approach to help patients learn how to manage their negative behaviors, to increase overall functioning, and to gain control over their lives. Mindfulness and meditation also play a key role in her approach. Mindfulness focuses on the separation between thoughts and feelings. By focusing on breath or sensation in the body, one can separate their thoughts from their feelings, which can be hugely beneficial in addressing certain emotions. Meditation is a practice to help increase mindfulness in everyday living. Having personally experienced her own journey of recovery as an adolescent and young woman, Lauren has a great deal of respect for the courage it takes to undergo the process of growth, self-discovery and healing. She offers compassion, strength, and hope to help her clients create the life they want. You can connect with her on Facebook and LinkedIn.