10 Ways to Refurbish your Sex Life While Growing Older

As you age, your body changes — and so does your sex life. Here are some tips to keep thinks adventurous in bed.
By - Updated June 18, 2021
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10 Ways to Refurbish your Sex Life While Growing Older
Reading Time: 8 minutes

As one mature in years, there are a number of things that other people just easily assumed to be on an uphill stride.

Since time and experience makes a great teacher, those who are advancing in years are seen as more experienced; they are wiser and are “mastering” life so to speak. Though that uphill expectation also has its downhill equivalent: the deterioration of sex life.

Though such misconceptions are being overturned by various research done in recent years, like the study done by researchers in the University of Manchester that revealed that contrary to popular opinion, older people still have an existing, striving and enjoyable sexual activity.

It has been admitted that yes, the quantity and frequency of sex might have slowed down but the quality of it apparently had made up for it.

David Lee, a research fellow of Age UK even said, “Even though the frequency of sexual activity declines as we grow older, sex remains an important part of our lives. It doesn’t stop or go away, it just changes“.

So with that misconception out of the way, how does one go about in improving their sex life?

As with everything in life, it requires intention and practice. Listed below are 10 ways your sex life can get better with age.

1. Reap the Benefits of Your Experience

Perks of getting older is that you are more experienced. Not that often, but in most cases, the sexual experience of a 50-year-old is nothing in comparison to a 20-year-old. It is no longer the fumbling in the dark, hope this works, just dive into it attempt to sex.

These experiences make you more aware of your body, your partner’s body and on what is happening altogether.

The same goes on what you can offer on the table. As time progresses, particular techniques have been harnessed. Experiences give you a whole arsenal under your belt that you could use under the sheet. And don’t be shy to use them.

Use them to satisfy your partner while varying the applications. You can use them all in one go or sparingly but regardless on how you use them, consideration to your partner is still highly important.

But that’s the thing with experience, the tell-tale signs of a partner’s sexual status could be obvious that an adjustment needs to be set in place.

2. Be Proactive

Be Proactive

In every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,” as per Newton’s law of Motion.

Basically, something has to be done for something to happen. And that also applies to sexual activity.

In order to get satisfaction out of it, you need to go and get it. As you grow older, you are more aware of what we like and don’t like. So be vocal about it: what you like, don’t like; or even on how you want a particular action or move be done to get the ultimate satisfaction.

Basically, initiate and do things that you like. That will arouse you and your partner. Also, never let your life be bombarded with other schedules that your sex life gets pushed on the side. Make it intentional.

Put it on schedule. Then sometimes, spice it up and make it spontaneous. The important thing is to not stop. Age should not be a defining factor on what you could and could not do; especially behind the closed door.

3. Try New Things

Do not fall into the trap of doing the same thing over and over again. Or a particular position all the time. It might be your and your partner’s favorite move but it gets stale after continuous usage.

Simply put, don’t be afraid to try something new. If you’ve always done it in the bedroom with lights switched off, do it with lights on, in the living room, kitchen, etc. Mind you, some people are doing it in their own garden.

Each to their own, of course, but the point is to never hesitate to go out of your comfort zone. There are loads of sexual materials that can be found over the net to educate yourself. If you’re curious about something, look it up; discuss it with your partner and take it from there.

Are there particular fantasies that both you and your partner are interested in? Lay it out on the table and be open for discussion.

A word of advice though from Psychology Today author Micheal Castleman MA, “know that most of the time, sexual fantasies exist in their own psychological realm—and sometimes they’re better left there.”

4. To Appreciate and Love Yourself

Love Yourself
Growing old gives you time to come in terms of your physical hang up and accept your body as it is. This physical acceptance leads to throw caution at the wind and just enjoy life (and sex) as it is.

Couples Counselor from Nottinghill, Tara Saglio, even pointed out that, “And as you grow older, the more confident you get and confidence makes sex less about how you look naked but more on how you feel.”

It just all starts to your self and on how you see yourself. The thing with growing old is that having sex with someone means that they want to have sex with you. Plain and simple.

They know you don’t have a supermodel body, they know you have lumps and bumps on places but that does not stop them from enjoying the activity with you. So why should you?

5. Maintaining Good Health

A healthy sexual life is also a result of a healthy living.

Beginning on physical activity, it affects the blood circulation, cardiovascular system, and stamina that is crucial to physical arousal and sexual functioning.

Medical professionals advice older people to do cardio exercise and strength training to it strengthen the blood vessels and the heart.

Then, a healthy diet to improve the overall health of the system which in turn make your skin glow and promotes a positive self-image. Unhealthy eating leads to obesity and high blood cholesterol.

It also makes a person lethargic which results in a negative self-image. Having a regular exercise regime and eating healthy leads to self-confidence that can be seen and felt inside and outside the bedroom.

77 years old Hollywood legend Jan Fonda even pointed out, “If you want sex, you have to stay flexible, you have to stay healthy, and you have to feel OK about yourself.”

6. Proper Lubrication

Proper Lubrication
It is scientifically proven that as a women age, natural lubrication dries out. That is because the hormone that lubricates the vagina and vulva drops.

But that does not mean that sex altogether needs to stop. There are selections of over the counter medication such as lubricant and or vaginal moisturizers that are easily accessible.

7. Trust and Communication Between Partner

Feeling empowered to speak up and talk to your partner particularly to anything regarding sex is a product of trust between the two of you and being confident.

Trust (and confidence) that you will be heard and everything you said will be taken as it is and with consideration.

The confidence to speak up is already sexy as it is. You know what you want and you are not afraid to let it out. Whether it is a position or even a particular fantasy, to let it out there and to discuss it with your partner already counts as sexy.

But what adds as a spice to the relationship is the trust given to each other: The trust that they will give you as much as you give them. Or even more. That they take your health and overall physical well being in mind and to not abuse it.

8. Focus On Intimacy and Physical Touch

Physical Touch

As you grow older, perspective about sex changes. The frequency might have dropped but that does not mean that it altogether stop: The focus just shift from quantity to quality.

A data gathered by giving out extensive self-administered survey questionnaires to English Speaking Americans from the year 1995, 2004 and 2014 gave an overall picture of the so-called decline in sexual activity as one grows older.

Based on the findings, yes, the quantity has decreased but the quantity has increased compared to younger participants or even when the participants themselves are younger.

In just a linear view, the quantity of sex must have dropped but including other variables, an older individual has been discovered to have a better sex life than it’s younger contemporaries.

This might be because as one academic, Bobby Sington, 63 years old, has put it, “it’s less about gratification but more about being intuned with the other person.”

And that because he is no longer as obsessed with being gratified as he was when he was younger, he was able to do it more slowly and more sensuously: focusing more on the shared experience.

9. Recognize Mental Blocks

Perhaps after reading all the lists mentioned, you have every intention of doing so. There are just some issues or inhibitions that is stopping you in doing so.

If that’s the case, then be honest with yourself. After all, communication starts from within. If you can admit and see what’s troubling you, then you will be able to communicate it to your partner.

There are various mental blocks that could cause you to not enjoy sexual activity one of which could be emotional ones especially stress, anxiety, and depression.

These are roadblocks that affect relationships and everything that comes with it such as to completely surrender and relaxed during sex. For such case, together with others, hopefully, this last tip helps:

10. Ask for Professional Help if Necessary

Professional Help

If there are various physical concerns such as abnormal pain during and after sex; and/or other symptoms and bumps, then talk to your gynecologist or GP or go to your sexual health clinic so they could explain what you are going through and recommend proper medication, diet and lifestyle.

Dr. Yasmin Tan, a laparoscopic surgeon, and gynecologist from Women’s Health and Research Institue in Australia also pointed out that there various natural issues that happen after menopause yet a number of women would suffer in silence.

This in turn would affect their self-esteem, relationships and sex life. The advice is to go and talk to someone: a counselor or a psychologist.

Herbal Ignite Review – Explore To Improve Your Sex Life.

There are a variety of reasons, both physical and mental, that causes a person to withhold sex or to do it yet not enjoys it altogether. The important thing is to find the root of the problem and deal it from there.

These compiled lists are merely suggestions and are not magic formulas. But despite the number, it all boils down to two:

  • 1. You can enjoy sex and much as you like and age should not stop you in doing so. Other people are doing it. Enjoying it as well. Why should not you?
  • 2. Like in everything, confidence is the key. To be confident of who you are: Flaws and all. That despite physical hang-ups, inner confidence always shines through.

Sex is natural for two people with mutual feelings for each other. It should be shared and enjoyed by both parties. Otherwise, the act will not be satisfying at all.

Read Next: 10 Types of Sex to Keep Sexual Spark in Long-Term Relationships


Sex is a natural act thus it should be enjoyed to the fullest. In order to enjoy it, you need not have to look over the person’s age, ability or even status in life. All you have to do is feel it.

There are so many ways on how to enjoy sex despite your age and present physical or even emotional condition.

To have your body get started, you need to work on your mind first. And the rest will follow. There are suggestions on how to enjoy sex, but all these will be effective if you put your mind and heart into it. You can also consider using a sexual enhancement supplement such as Provacyl Review which might increase your sexual performance right away.

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