What To Do When Your Marriage Is In Trouble?
Start by simply finding time for just the two of you. Image via Shutterstock

We all dream about living happily ever, even if we don’t admit it to others. Little girls grow up wanting a prince charming to hold her in his arms and keep her safe and boys like the idea of being the strong protector of his castle and princess. It is a wonderful idea, but unfortunately, it is not found so easily. And it is even harder to hold onto once we have found it.

Everywhere in the media, we see images of happy couples and wonder why our own relationships don’t look like that.

Sadly, in this modern era relationships suffer because of our lifestyles and then marriages fall apart.

According to statistics 41% of marriages end in divorce, but there is always hope.

Why things fall apart sometimes?

With demanding and taxing jobs that require us to spend hours away from our families, children’s activities that eat into our time at home and life, in general, keeping us so busy and stressed, it is very hard to make time for that person you fell in love with and decided to spend your life with.


*All individuals are unique. Your results can and will vary.

Many factors play a role in whether or not a marriage works. There are external factors like mentioned above, social activities and social media, and then there are internal factors like having grown irritated with your partner, or low libido.

Surprisingly, a man’s testosterone levels and sex drive can have a very perceptible effect on his marriage. Testosterone is what makes a man a man and it influences his libido as well.

Unfortunately, testosterone levels start to plummet when a man reaches his late thirties or early forties and keeps dropping by about 2% a year.

But there are exercises to boost testosterone that can make a huge difference and maybe even aid to help save your marriage.

Exercise can help boost testosterone levels

There are many, many drugs that claim to help a man with low testosterone levels, erectile dysfunction and libido problems but a word of caution to men who want to try and fix his problems.

Aim to choose natural supplements or do exercises that will help instead of opting for over-the-counter products that might do harm in the long run and strangle your wallet.


*All individuals are unique. Your results can and will vary.

Exercise is a good, healthy alternative that also increases your stamina, always a good thing for a man. Exercises that focus on the body’s larger muscle groups are the best to do for boosting testosterone levels.

  • Pushups
  • Chin-ups
  • Pull-ups
  • Bench pressing
  • Squatting

These are very good exercises to be considered for this. If you want to take on your testosterone levels in an attempt to save your marriage, consider these exercises. For more ideas on exercises that focus on boosting testosterone levels, go here.

Supplements can be a solution as well

If it is found that exercise alone isn’t working for low testosterone levels, there are enhancement supplements that can be taken into consideration as well.

Of course, there are many lists available of the best natural male enhancement supplements, so it can be hard to decide which products to buy.

Spend time researching all the available products, their effectiveness as well as their effects on your body in the long run.

It is recommended to use trusted reviews that give unbiased information when looking at supplements to buy.

According to a professional test done, Vitamin D has also been credited as a natural supplement that will boost testosterone levels.

Unfortunately getting the right amounts of Vitamin D that your body needs are easier said than done. You can’t get (enough) Vitamin D from food.

The best ways are through buying the right supplements and exposing your bare skin to the sun. Vitamin D3 is considered the best supplement.

You don’t need to get a dark tan or even have your skin burned pink to get enough Vitamin D. Simply spend half the time it takes your skin to burn in the sun.


*All individuals are unique. Your results can and will vary.

When your marriage is in trouble

Other than the above-mentioned ideas of looking at testosterone levels and finding ways to boost them, there are ways to tackle any problems your marriage is facing.

Another major reason that marriages fall apart is that couples have lost their initial connection. They don’t see the person they fell in love with anymore.

Now time and stress have dulled their chosen partner into just another person in their life. Instead of seeing the princess that he has made into his queen, a man sees a stressed, irritated woman trying to cope with a busy life.

And she sees not the strong protector that she wants to hold her close, but a man driven by society and extreme work conditions and ridiculous standards that keeps him feeling unworthy. But there are ways to bring back that spark, the chemistry that started the path that you took together.

How to repair the damage?

Start by simply finding time for just the two of you. It might very difficult with all the chores, burdens and other responsibilities demanding your time, but it will make a world of difference if you can spend just one day a week alone together, enjoying the company of that person that initially had your heart beating faster and your mind racing.

Take a moment and think about what it is that has put your marriage in a bad situation in the first place.

What is it that makes your marriage feel like it’s broken?

Once you have identified and isolated all the little snags that tear you apart, you can start focusing on how to repair them.

Also, teach yourself to listen to your partner. You should do more than just hear the words coming out of their mouths. You should really listen to what they say to you. It could even give you clues as to how they are feeling.

After a few years together it can become difficult to actually listen to what your significant other is saying and to not just say “Yes, dear”, but it is really important.

Everyone is always saying ‘communication is vital’ and they are right. But communication goes both ways. While listening to your partner, also speak up about your feelings, kindly and lovingly, of course.

The influence of Pheromone levels

Another (perhaps not so surprising) influence on relationships is the couple’s pheromone levels. Pheromones are chemicals that are constantly being released by people and even animals, and they work without us even knowing. Pheromones are picked up by the part of the brain that can alter a person’s sexual behavior, reproduction, and hormones, among other things.

It is commonly known that pheromones are the mystical influences on our sex lives, an important factor in any marriage. Complicated experiment results claim that pheromones have many influences in our lives.

How to boost Pheromone levels?

There are a number of natural ways to boost your pheromone levels. Getting enough sleep is not only essential for mental health, but it is also important to keep your pheromone levels regular or at least active.

  • Regular exercise is a good idea, as is eating right.
  • Food that is high in Zinc such as meat, cheese, shellfish, oysters and wheat germ are recommended. A test done on male rats with increased zinc levels came to positive conclusions on this matter.
  • An unusual idea is to bath without soap. It is believed that scrubbing too heartily can actually wash away your natural supply of pheromones. Rather take a hot shower without soap, if possible.
  • There are many science-backed tests that have been done to find natural and effective ways to boost pheromone levels without doing harm. Although somewhat controversial, not shaving armpit hair is also recommended. It is because the hair will trap the pheromones easier. Of course, men don’t often shave their armpits, but women may find not shaving undesirable. In France however, many women stand by this and won’t shave for this very reason.

Pheromones are essentially odorless, but they are most likely to be released into bodily fluids like sweat. It is, in fact, the skin that is responsible for releasing pheromones.

If you are a bit impatient, you could always buy over the counter pheromones. Although the jury is still out on the matter of store bought pheromones, many people swear by it. An informal experiment has proven that over the counter pheromones does in fact work.


Repairing a broken or cracked marriage is not easy. It takes time, dedication and patience. You will most likely not be able to make all your problems disappear overnight. You will have to work at it.

But if you take a step back, look and truly see the person you married, focus on being alone with them and appreciating them, you are well on your way to working things out.

Also, by focusing on the physical problems that may be playing a role – like testosterone and pheromone levels – will give you another important tool to build up your happiness again.

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Anita DeFrancesco, M.A. Modern Sex & Relationship Coach, founder of Tantra Wisdom™ and Kinepathics Emotional Cleansing. She hosts a Podcast show titled Mindfulness-Sexuality-Relationships. Somatic psychotherapist, workshop facilitator, and author of Live Free-recreate and liberate your life. A leader and inspirator with an insightful wisdom in the areas of self-empowerment, self-discovery and transformation. Connect with her on Facebook.