50 Shades Of Grey – Does It Tell You A Clear Relationship Goal

Chances are you’ve either read 50 Shades of Grey, heard about it, or watched the movie. There was a big movement when the book hit the shelves. what started out as a strictly Ebook gained mass notoriety and moved from Ebook to paperback.

If you are familiar with the romance novel society, then you know its a flooded market full of Indie authors just waiting for the next big break. Well, I was a virgin to the Romance world, but I jumped on the band wagon to see what all the fuss was about. Everyone from my friends to my Dr. were raving about Christian Grey, I was told I had to read it.

It’s not often you see a book make such a movement, I mean, library’s across the Country were refusing to keep it on their shelves, stating it was “ Mommy Porn” and just pure trash. Kind of reminded me of Fahrenheit 451.

Being the rebel that I am, I am quickly dug in and devoured all three books within 3 days. I couldn’t put them down. I had heard all the rumblings of how it was abuse, manipulation, and just pure trash. Well, call me trashy because I loved the books.

With that being said, of course I went opening night with a group of girlfriends to watch it in theatre. I spent my Valentines Night with my girls watching what I had hoped to be a great movie. I was extremely disappointed when Charlie Hunan was replaced with Jamie Dornan.

Charlie embodied what I thought was the perfect Christian Grey. But, I was optimistic and tried to give Jamie a chance. In my honest opinion, he fell flat. He wasn’t what was described as what Christian Grey looked like, and he was awkward. Dakota as Anastasia was spot on, she was magnificent.


As am I sitting in the theatre watching this movie play out, I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. It’s one thing to read the book, and another to watch it play out in front of you. While reading the book, we get the narrative version and we are able to understand how Anastasia is feeling, her fears, and her hopes.

But, it is not conveyed in the movie. It’s borderline creepy to watch the way Christian treated Anastasia, and the demands he had for their relationship.

Let’s break down the many scenes in the movie that just don’t transgress well on the screen. I believe there is someone for everyone, and what ever floats your boat is your business. But as a woman, I can tell you a few things that very few woman are kosher with.

1. Contracts: It’s one thing to decide to get married, that in of itself is a contract, but a sex contract….. Not so much. If a man takes me to dinner then whips out a contract about our relationship, then I am hightailing it. Talk abut a red flag.


2. No Touch Zone: We all know the Christian came from an abusive household and battles some inner demons, but his no touch zone on his body is unappealing. Woman love a bad boy or what we call a project man.

We always want to be the one to break those walls down, and make them a better person. But, if I give all of myself to you, you better believe you need to reciprocate that. Drawing lines on your body to give me a map of safe touch zones, yet you want my entire body and every orifice at your disposer. Talk about a lopsided relationship.

3. Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness: If Christian Grey lived in a modest house, drove a beat down car, and worked a 9 to 5, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. If a man says let me show you my red room, I am not staying long enough for him to open the drawers on his dresser. Unless you are out seeking a BDSM relationship, it can be very jarring.


There are a multitude of reasons why 50 Shades of Grey resonates with so many people. It’s captivating, riveting, envelope pushing, and awe inspiring. It’s a first of its kind, its not often, if ever, an indie erotic novel reaches such success. But, just because the book was great, doesn’t guarantee the movie will meet those same expectations.

What made 50 Shades of Grey so unrealistic and unappealing is the relationship that Ana and Christian have. Anastasia starts out as the girl next door, with a submissive personality. She is quite and mousy. She is driven to finish her degree and move to Seattle with her roommate/friend. All that seems rather familiar.

She doesn’t stand out in a crowd and blends in. Here walks in damage, mysterious, and domineering Christian Grey. Billionaire or not, its creepy to have a man you don’t know stalk you. It’s one thing to look someone up on social media, but to have a folder filled with personal information on someone is creepy and disturbing. Then to buy all the BDSM accessories at her store, I just cannot shake my head enough.


You take a quite, young woman and immediately place her in a relationship that is the opposite of her personality is unrealistic. She gives Christian her entire body and mind, yet he holds all the cards. Yes, he’s damaged, but that doesn’t excuse for his lack of emotions. This book although a great read, couldn’t be further from reality.

If you are waiting out for that emotionally damaged billionaire to land on the roof of your apartment, keep waiting. In all reality, this billionaire would have revolving door of different women just waiting to collect a pay check being his submissive. Why would he seek out a random woman from a small town to fulfill his needs.

He wouldn’t, its not even close to reality. Also, I would love to think that in reality a woman wouldn’t put up with his behavior. A relationship is two sided, contract or no contract.

Read More: “Kink Will Make Her Wink”: Your Bedroom Tales From Aww To Oh Yeah!

If a BDSM relationship is what works for you then great, but men shouldn’t anticipate all woman to submit and allow safe words in the bedrooms. We are all not wired that way, so please, if you see your spouse reading or watching 50 Shades Of Grey, just remember that although it’s a good read , it doesn’t mean we all want to be dominated. Somethings are just purely for entertainment purposes.

Image Credits
Feature Image: sites.psu.edu
In-Post Image: Shutterstock.com, giphy.com & unilad.co.uk
footer Banner

Kori Daugherty is an independent writer and runs the blog Kay Kizzle that features a wide range of topics spanning from beauty, relationships, music, books, and fashion. She spends most of her time researching new topics for the blog and spends the remaining time reading. You can find more about her at kizzlekay.wordpress.com She is a lover of all things fashion. She has a true passion for music and finds that it is essential in her life. she loves to get lost in a book and feel as if it’s our own alternate universe. Makeup is a way for us to enhance our beauty and you will find that she reviews a lot of different products. Don’t forget to check out her Instagram, & Pinterest!