Sex In Long Term Relationships
Sex is most commonly accepted to be the act of intimacy between couples. In its purest form, it involves the connection of lover’s bodies, mind, and even spirit coming together as one during the act of love-making.
In order for most long term relationships to be healthy and productive, couples must invest heavily in creating a good sex life. This is because sex plays a very unique and important role in the life in relationship creating a bond of intimacy as well as sexual wellness.
The act of sex in a loving relationship creates the desire to procreate which is the substance that keeps the human race on this planet. There are many benefits of having a healthy sex life. Some of these include; relieving one from stress.
During sex, ‘happy hormones’ are released that are called endorphins which help to completely de-stress oneself, invigorating the spirit to face another day with new zeal.
During the act of sex, one will forget about the issues in everyday life that may not be so pleasant and concentrate on the pleasures of the body.
During sex, women will also release an important hormone called estrogen. The importance of this hormone in a female’s body cannot be underrated. It is important because it helps delay menopause, balance their menstruation periods and increases fertility levels.
Finally, sex also causes the body to produce the oxytocin hormone which is important in helping one express their love and trust with easy. It reacts to the neurotransmitter in the brain and is known as the ‘love drug’.
The more lovers kiss, embrace the more this hormone is released and plays a huge role in couples bonding and ‘feeling in love’. It also acts to provide mild pain relief and is the reason why having sex will often get rid of the headache that was felt during the day.
It cannot be played down that sex also rejuvenates your body, makes you flexible and helps you burn a lot of calories. This will help prevent you from getting many lifestyle diseases.
Yes, sex has also been proven to be a great anti-aging activity. This is because it is a metabolism and immune booster.
So sex not only allows the human race to procreate, maintain intimacy in long lasting relationships, creates a natural love drug, is a pain relief, slows down the aging process and rejuvenates the mind and spirit.
It feels good too! Good sex is healthy, but bad sex for men is still pretty good!
How To Boost Sexual Performance?
With all these benefits and many more, comes the question, how do I boost sexual performance in a long term relationship?
From the very onset, it is important to note that from numerous research, contrary to what is often depicted in movies, the most fulfilling sex is not to be found in one-night stands and flings.
Great sex is best found in long lasting relationships. There are many myths surrounding this idea as many see it as a lot of hard work to maintain a relationship and sometimes it is.
But there is nothing more fulfilling than having your partner by your side or having your back because to the trust and intimacy that you share.
Before sharing specific ideas on how to boost your sexual performance one must bear in mind that sex is not just a physical act involving your body.
No! It does involve the whole human being in a physical, mental, ethical and spiritual level. It, therefore, goes without saying that, to experience great sex, you have to look at both physiological and psychological aspects.
Physiological Aspects To Boost Sexual Performance
In order to have sex, you have to be physically capable. Here are some ways to boost your sexual performance in a long lasting relationship –
For you to have the best sex life, you need to get steamy and active in the bedroom. This will involve a lot of physical activity and if you like long steamy sessions – stamina.
If you are not fit, you will find yourself getting tired quickly hampering your performance. To sustain an erection, for example, requires blood flow to your penis.
An erection will be harder and the length you can keep it up can be increased by having regular cardiovascular exercises. Actually there is a saying that what is good for the heart is good for your sexual health.
Increase your blood flow by engaging in at least thirty minutes of exercises a day that will help you break a sweat. This may include, running, brisk walking or hitting the gym altogether.
What you eat can also affect your blood flow positively or negatively. Eating fatty foods and those with high cholesterol will reduce your blood flow and thus reverse gains you would have made in the bedroom.
Some of the foods that can boost your blood flow and thus increase your sexual performance include fruits and vegetables like onions and garlic. Bananas, which is high in potassium levels is also good for you as it helps in blood circulation.
Foods that contain nitric oxide like beans, soy products, oats, almonds, walnuts, and cold water fish such as almond and tuna are also vital to blood vessel health.
While on one hand, one needs to unwind well to enjoy sex, some of the activities we engage in to unwind can well lead to decreased libido. Smoking and consumption of alcohol most often reduces your ability to get an erection in men and an orgasm for the ladies.
Such stimulants work by constricting blood vessels, thus hindering blood flow to your reproductive organs.
Excessive consumption of alcohol and drugs may also hinder your proper judgment and affect your communication which is very important during sex. Work on replacing these habits with good habits like regular exercises and eating well.
It is a fact that over 96% of males surveyed have masturbated in their life. Women over 80%. When you take into account those that may physically not be able to this statistic is overwhelming.
Masturbation is the self-stimulation of one’s sexual organs for self-satisfaction. Masturbation has sharply divided opinion shapers with some saying it can improve your sexual experience while others disagree.
Proponents of the argument that it does improve sexual performance argue that, if you are a male not lasting long enough, you will need some practice as practice makes perfect.
There are sex toys created as male stamina units that are a sleeve that replicate the feeling of a real vagina, or mouth for the man to masturbate in. As the man becomes accustomed to the sensation, he will last longer.
For females masturbation by hand or with a sex toy causes blood to flow into the clitoris, thereby engorging it. The larger the clitoris, the more area mass there is to stimulate meaning an increase in stimulation creates better sex for the woman.
Vacuum devices such as pussy pumps and clitoral pumps claim to cause clitoral rejuvenation in women during and post menopause.
On the contrary, those against argue that it conditions the body to only be enjoying the sexual act with oneself and thus one does very little to improve your sexual performance with your partner.
It is also argued that those masturbating or using sex toys will often rush through to climax as quickly as possible as there is no need to satisfy a partner.
To improve on the time you would take with your partner, one has to spend as much time, if not more as they would want to spend with their partner.
I believe both these arguments are true and the simple logic of it for men is if you masturbate or use sex toys to lengthen the time it takes you to climax you will increase your stamina and performance however if you masturbate to orgasm as quickly as possible/for your own pleasure it will probably have the opposite effect and reduce your stamina/performance.
Sexual positions also play a big role on how one enjoys sex. Each individual is stimulated differently and experiences sensation in different erogenous zones.
Over 70% of women will get an orgasm through clitoral stimulation and hence the missionary style becomes the favored sex position as this position the penis slides across it the most.
This style will also drive men crazy as they feel that they are in control of their lady while allowing them to be intimate. Identifying the sex position that best arouses your partner and makes them reach orgasm fastest is key to a fulfilling sexual experience.
In saying that part of a sexually healthy relationship is changing it up. Do not get stuck in having sex in one position all the time. Your love-making should be innovative, creative and exciting – get rid of the boring and mundane.
Try it doggie style, have a go at the cow-girl position – there are more than 101 Sexual Positions for you and your partner to discover and experience.
In order to boost your sexual performance by changing up your sex positions, you need to have some flexibility. 10 minutes of stretching each day or attending a Yoga class one day a week will go miles into making you the sexual athlete that you want to be.
It is no secret that whenever you are sick, you are not operating at 100%. It is important to seek medical treatment for conditions that may hinder your from performing optimally in your sex life.
Some of the conditions that affects men are Erectile Dysfunction, retro orgasm and Peyronei’s Disease. Women suffer from Vaginitis, Vaginismus, orgasmic dysfunction and horny toad disease.
Many men and women with such ailments avoid seeking medical assistance and suffer in silence while the condition erodes their performance in the bedroom. It is advisable to not be embarrassed about these and seek medical help as soon as possible.
As one gets older, the body does not perform its functions as it would while you were younger. Both men and women experience physical changes that can affect their performance.
In women, menopause will often bring a sudden disinterest in sex. It is important to note that this is not a disinterest in the partner but just the act due to hormonal changes. Many men may experience erectile dysfunction in their later years or after prostate surgery. As stated earlier, visit a doctor as these conditions are easily treated if detected early enough. There are also pills that can be prescribed that will allow older men to get hard erections like Viagra and Cialis.
Psychological Aspects To Boost Sexual Performance
As you prepare to have sex physically, by exercising, eating well and learning different sex positions, you should as well prepare for the psychological aspects of sex. Several aspects can lead to a Boost in Sexual Performance for those in long term relationships.
The easiest and fastest way to improve on your sex life is by simply talking to your partner about it. Spend as much time discussing about your sex lives as you do would actually doing it.
In fact, it is advised to even spend more time before actually doing it. Discuss what turns you on and off, your limitations and your ambitions in your sex life.
This may at times become very uncomfortable especially if you have not built open communication channels. However, a quick guide to this is
Rather than trying to point out what your partner is doing wrong by using ‘you’ or ‘your’ statements. Express what you would enjoy being done to you and be keen to listen to what your partner’s desires.
The best time to build these communication channels are at the beginning of your relationship. This will help avoid the awkwardness and embarrassment that would come with expressing oneself to an act that has been going on for long.
It will also help build trust which is absolutely necessary for any relationship to prosper in their sex lives. If you haven’t built this trust in the first place, begin by simple acts like engaging in simultaneous free-writes or by talking with the lights off.
You will be surprised at how this works magic.
Learn to be open about the factors that would generally affect your sexual performance. Some which may include the physiological aspects stated above have a great potential to be misinterpreted.
A woman who is going through menopause may experience reduced libido. Her partner, however, may misinterpret this as a sudden disinterest in him as a person and this may lead to very bad sexual experiences.
Similarly, an aging man may discover they no longer last as long or takes a lot more time to be aroused. Talking about these issues openly will help improve one’s self-confidence, empower your partner and reignite the ability to enjoy sex.
It is a well-known fact that if you are going through a hard time at work or are stressed by another factor, you will not be able to concentrate on your partner and your tolerance in other matters reduces.
For a long lasting relationship, sex is not merely a physical act. It is how you connect with your partner. When having sex one feels drawn to their partner more and are able to concentrate on more intimate issues.
If a couple are not able to deal with the stresses in their life, they will find it very hard to connect during sex. For you to boost your sexual performance, it is advisable to deal with stress these issues before hand.
Women and men react differently to stress. In men sex, is often a stress relieving activity and hence may not necessarily affect their performance.
In women, however, stress reduces the desire and enjoyment of sex making it an anathema or a non-issue and hence they shy away from it. It is thus good to identify how stress affects you or your partner so that you address it in time, to give you the best sexual experiences.
Setting the Mood
Men are mostly attracted to a woman by sight, but women need a little more than that. Different activities set the mood differently for either gender.
The importance of foreplay for a woman cannot be understated. Also creating the mood by lighting some scented candles, or going out on a romantic date beforehand, a bunch of flowers things that will make her feel that you love and treasure her.
Avoid making your sex life seem scripted by spicing it up with different activities like massages, cuddling and kissing can bring out the very best in your partner.
Focus on pleasuring your mate while responding positively to their stimulation. Fore play should never be rushed.
Take your time to explore your partner’s body while touching areas they feel excite them. Soft music may also help setting the mood. The more foreplay there is, as a general rule, the better the sex will be as you will both be in a relaxed and highly stimulated state.
Time is very essential in achieving a fulfilling sexual experience. Many approach sex as an activity to do and be done with, but this is wrong. Take time to touch your partner in non-sexual manner and gradually move to sexual touches.
While at it, focus on the entire body of your partner and enjoy the view. You can start with touching the face, arms and legs and then move on to sensual areas like the breasts/nipples, thighs, and butt.
Finally, spend time at the erogenous area and lightly stimulate your partner’s genitals. Women respond well to clitoris stimulation. You can engage in sex afterward.
Another aspect that is often overlooked is when sex should be done. Most sex lives become mundane by scheduling when it should be done.
These routines tend to be so predictable and leave nothing to be longed for by your partner. Learn to be spontaneous and exciting!! Have sex at unexpected times, even at unexpected places and in unexpected ways.
Sometimes to break the ice it may be time to add some adult games to your relationship. Card and dice games that tell you what to sexually do to your partner, truth or dare cards and award winning games like ‘Monogomy’ make for a fun and sexually filled nigh.
Dressing in a way that is attractive and behaving/role playing a certain character often does best for men, while foreplay and intimate talk may do best for women.
Whichever the case, it is important for both partners to be sexually attracted to one another and be in the mood before engaging in sex.
Role playing can often be accompanied with dirty talk or fantasy scenarios. Why not play doctors and nurses – it is fun way to try something new and boost your sex!
Holistic Approach to To Boost Sexual Performance
In order to achieve a boost in your sexual performance after being in a long-term relationship, it is imperative that you both choose to improve.
No one thing is right or wrong and as long as you are honest with each other things will always stand to improve. Take a holistic approach and choose a number of the suggested approaches and as long as you do it together, you have everything to gain!
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