We all love sex.
It’s a great pastime for two (or even more, why not?) people. But what if you could make it even better?
Below are 5 tips to help you do that. They don’t require anything way too bold or exotic but they will help you change your bedroom routine and, as a result, have better sex.
1. Create an Atmosphere
“Women’s ability to achieve the climax is often about overall comfort rather than sophisticated techniques.”
Comfort and special atmosphere make for quicker and more intense arousal, that’s for sure. This, consequently, enhances sexual pleasure. So, whether you’re in this relationship, like, forever or you’re looking for a way to surprise your new sweetheart, this is what will work:
- Dim the lights. It is said that men love doing it when the light is on, while women often feel quite shy about their body and prefer it off. Why not compromise and leave the lights on but low? This will make you feel more intimate with each other.
- Use incense sticks or scented candles. Be careful here, though. Every scent is different and the one you use might turn out to be not to your or your partner’s liking. Some flavors, especially those with Oriental notes may even cause a headache or dizziness. So, if you’re not sure about your partner’s preferences, just go for something traditional, like strawberry, cinnamon, rose, or jasmine.
- Add some music that will put the both of you in the right mood. You can slow dance to jazz or sip wine to some sexy pop hits. Or maybe turn on something like “Intro” by The xx?
Bonus tip: If it’s a romantic night and you’re drinking wine, just have one glass. It’s enough to help you relax and not too much to kill your sex drive.
“Alcohol doesn’t help your sexual experiences in any way except that it might rid you of shyness. In physiological regard, it affects your hormone levels, taking away your energy and sedating you.”
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Try Toys
Sometimes you don’t need that sweet romance to have better sex. You just need to get a little bit dirtier than usual. That’s when sex toys come in.
There’s a great number of different types of toys designed to bring variety and new feelings to your bedroom, e.g. vibrators, nipple clamps, butt plugs, anal beads, clitoral massagers, and much more. Some of them are designed to treat only one of the partners, while others can enhance the pleasure of both at the same time.
Bonus tip: If you’re not ready to try anything vibrating or penetrating yet, you can go with handcuffs, ropes, blindfolds, ticklers, and other sex props that will add some extra spark in the sack.
3. Get a Proper Mattress for Sex
There are myriads of tips on how to have better sex, but this one should have been the opening to this article. The thing is, if you’re willing to improve the sexual experiences in your bedroom, you must begin with improving the bed.
Here’s the kicker:
Believe it or not but changing a mattress can really change the way you feel during an intercourse.
Your old mattress could have been making you and your partner (the one who’s moving) more tired if it possesses hugging properties. It’s much harder to achieve orgasms when you’re tired, isn’t it?
The old mattress also could have been driving you crazy — in a bad way — with that creaking sound it produces with every move. It is especially annoying when you have neighbors (or kids, or even parents) in the next room.
What about temperature control in your old mattress? Sexual activities make you feel hot. You surely don’t want your bed to make you even hotter. A mattress with a cooling gel layer is an option to feel more comfortable and, consequently, have better sex.
With that being said, what does a “proper mattress for sex” mean? Well, it means this mattress:
- is responsive but not too bouncy (you’ll appreciate it most in a cowgirl position);
- is quiet or even silent (for when things get really fast and aggressive);
- doesn’t stain easily (for when you’re experimenting with gels, moisturizers, or ice-cream);
- has cooling properties (for when things get really sweaty).
“Memory foam is acknowledged as the worst material for a mattress for sex. The reason for that is its lack of bounciness. You and your partner are likely to get tired faster until you sink in it completely. It’s not true for any foam mattress, though. Some really firm models might survive the pressure from your movements and give you a pretty decent level of comfort.”
4. Experiment with a Pillow
This trick will be most appreciated by fans of the missionary position. How does it make a difference, you might ask? How will it help you have better sex?
Here’s the thing:
A pillow under a woman’s hips adds an incline and changes the angle of penetration. So, the way it feels will also be different.
And the best part is:
This works in other positions, too! Legs over shoulders, spooning, lazy dog… and the list goes on. You’re free to experiment with the feels and find a position in which both you and your partner get maximum pleasure.
You might try using an ordinary pillow, just for the sake of figuring out if this trick works for you. But when you know it does, I recommend getting a pillow designed specifically for sexual activities. It will feel more supportive and bouncy, be easier to clean or even waterproof, and have better air circulation properties.
5. Don’t Neglect Using Lubricants
Last but not least, always make sure there’s enough wetness down there. It’s important to use lubricants during an intercourse because they moisturize genitals and reduce friction. Even though lubrication occurs naturally in a healthy orgasm, sometimes that might be not enough to ensure a safe and comfortable experience.
“When you make love to someone, you get a rush of endorphins — hormones that reduce pain in your body. So, you might not even feel when it starts rubbing painfully during a sex act. However, you will surely feel it afterward, once all the pleasant feelings vanish.”
Bonus tip: There are lubes with a cooling effect, which can enhance the feelings for both partners, and even edible ones, with which you won’t have to take a shower each time you switch from regular sex to oral.
There’s much more to the wisdom on how to have better sex. The good news is, sex is not a taboo topic anymore. Instead, it has become a subject of interest for many scientists, which means the research will go on and even more tricks will be discovered soon.
Anyway, I hope you and your partner will put the aforementioned tips to use and will have much more thrilling and pleasurable intimate moments together.
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