Marriage is the sacred union between two people bounded by love. It is the process where in these two people announce their relationship to show the public their exclusivity to each other until their death. Marriage, however, is not just any other ceremony or an agreement for some people; it is the acceptance of work towards ultimate loyalty and respect.
To some people, marriage is their culmination of love which means it can transcend the boundaries of any scripture or law. Everybody has their own opinion regarding things, marriage being one of those. Whoever you are, you can define marriage the way you want to.
However, in whatever way you may want to define marriage, you cannot outlook the fact that a marriage is a ride and a process which can be both interrupted or challenged. As you may know, no marriage is smooth sailing throughout its life.
One way or another, the people in a marriage will have their bond challenged and marriage is one reason for them to stay together. There are a lot of challenges to marriages out there and experiencing one is not wrong at all, in fact, even necessary.
Marriage Is The Culmination Of Love And Sex Is A Big Aspect Of It
If marriage is the culmination of love, some people attribute sex as the culmination of marriage. With traditions of honeymoons and bedding ceremonies scattered through cultures and time, sex is therefore defined as an important aspect of the married life.
Through sex, life and lineages are made; families are formed which is why it is just right to talk about it openly between you and your partner. In line with this, sex, being an important aspect of marriage can be the very source of problems. Whether it is through satisfaction, performance, or whatever the reason may be, problems regarding sex cannot be taken lightly as it may affect the relationship in a bigger scale.
Sexual Problems, Such As Sexless Marriages, Are Common For Couples
The sexual aspects of things can offer various problems to marriages but one of the most common concerns among couples is attributed to the absence of it ultimately resulting to what is now called a sexless marriage.
Sexless marriage is defined as a marital union without little to any sexual activity done in more than a year. As mentioned, it is a common problem amongst married couples and has gained a lot of attention from health professionals, the media, and many more industries.
Sexless marriages can be complex in terms of causes and its resulting effects which is why living with it can entail two or more solutions. Numerous reports and statistics have attested to the growing concerns and cases regarding sexless marriages.
According to the New York Times back in 2015, the term “sexless marriage” was even one of most searched phrases in 2015 and beating other terms such as “unhappy marriage.”
Other international studies even reveal to people that 5 out of 10 couples have not engaged in any sexual activities for a month already.
Sexless marriages can heavily affect relationships causing a general concern amongst experts. If you find yourself in a sexless marriage and want to get yourself out of your situation, here are some tips to do so:
Identify The Problem
The first step to curing something is, of course to recognize that there is a problem. Much like any other problem, the most basic thing you can do first is to identify what’s wrong and recognize that you have a problem.
Base your assumptions on the definition of sexless marriage, so if your partner and you have not been engaging in any sexual activity for the past few months without any valid reason, then you can count yourself as the many couples under the category of sexless marriages.
After identifying the problem and categorizing yourself, recognize the problem. There is no room for denial in this one as denying the fact that you have a problem may really hinder you from finding any solutions.
Don’t Pressure Too Much
When dealing with the problem and recognizing the fact that you have indeed an obstacle in front of you, stay calm. You are not alone in this problem; never forget that a lot of couples are also experiencing this which is why it is okay for you to be experiencing this also.
Do not pressure anything into happening as you might even make things much worse. Take things easy and do more research if it will boost your confidence. The problem is solvable and a lot can attest to that which is why there is no need for any panic.
Have A Chat
As basic as it may sound, talking with your partner is in fact one of the best things you could do in order to combat sexless marriages. Although sexless marriages can appear out of nowhere, in truth, the problem may arise from an unfortunate series of events ultimately leading to the loss of sexual drive.
Talk to your partner as he/she may not yet fully realize the problem. As mentioned in the previous paragraphs, recognizing that there is a problem is a key factor to finding a solution. Talking to your partner can offer a lot of help and shed more light to the situation.
Talk about what have been causing you two to lessen your sexual activities and possibly make amends. It will also help to talk more about your schedules in order to find vacant time where you could go out and possibly rekindle the fire.
In line with talking to your partner, it would really hinder you both if you choose to hide anything. Honesty will get you somewhere and you just have to trust that. You are married and honesty is not just the best policy, honesty is your foundation.
A lot of things can cause people to be less honest such as the fear of getting embarrassed. If you are one of these people, you would just have to remember that you are married and you have agreed to be together no matter what the circumstances are, so do not be afraid to say anything if you know it will benefit you in solving your problem.
Small Steps But Do Big Leaps From Time To Time
Rome was not built in one day and so is the case with your sexual intimacy. Sexless marriages can be attributed to a lot of reasons but no matter how big the reason may be, things will never be resolved quickly. Do small steps by going out regularly again, watching movies together, kissing before eating, and the like because these things may slowly fan the flames.
Aside from small steps, introduce big changes also to target the sexual intimacy in the relationship. As you may know, sex can be easily leveled up by means of introducing new ideas in the bedroom. Get creative and research on new things to do in order to somehow make things interesting.
As previously mentioned, you are not alone in this problem and there are people out there who are going through the same thing. People around you may have been through it already also which means you can ask help from them and ask for tips. Do not be ashamed to do so if you really want to get this over with.
Talking about the problem is not just limited to your partner as you may also be able to get help from friends who are going through or have been through the same problem. Statistics prove that there is a 50/50 chance that your married friend might be undergoing through the same problem.
You may discuss this problem with this close friend of yours and try to ask what is he doing while presenting your very own ideas also. Do not shy away from pitching in your ideas and tell him/her to do so also as one of the things either of you will blurt out just might save your relationships.
Remember That Every Couple Is Unique
Although the previous solution may tell you to be open about it, it is also very important to remember the fact that your relationship is unique therefore another’s solution may not work very well and will need more personalization on your part.
Your relationship is unique and chances are you will know it better than any other else. Bottom line is, when asking for outside help, always make sure that you find the right balance between your input and theirs.
In line with this, disregard what you see in various media platforms about them knowing the solution to problem because there is no solution to this problem and other’s experiences may be far different from yours. Your relationship was founded by different values and characters which is why others’ taste may not suit you.
Find The Middle Ground
This article is not entirely about solving the problem, it is about how to cope with it and solving it is just an option. In order to cope with this problem you have to find the middle ground meaning the perfect mixture of things where there is a balance of solving as well as compromising.
Finding the middle ground is key if you want to coexist with a sexless marriage and you can do this by asking yourself first if you are satisfied with it, and then ask your partner if he/she is satisfied with the sexual aspect of things in your relationship.
Talk about schedules, interests, and more. After finding these things, then you can apply the solutions for the parts you want to solve, and compromise for the parts you want to retain.
To sum it all up, marriages are there as proofs of love between two people and sex is an integral part of it.
Sexual activities have their own physical and psychological benefits which is why it is important to keep them in check. There are a lot of known problems when talking about sex and one of the more famous ones is the problem of sexless marriages which is one of the most common ones also.
Coping with sexless marriages means finding the balance between what to solve and what to retain. Talking and the communication between the couple are important in order to find improvement points. These improvement points may range from scheduling dinner to creative ideas on bed.
Aside from communication, small steps also matter if you want to solve the problem as a part of coping with it Small steps may rekindle the fire of your relationship and they can really make big wonders for you and your partner.
Asking for help is also a must, whether it is from a friend who has been through the same situation or a professional such as a marriage consultant. However, when dealing with sexless marriages you must remember that your relationship is different from the others as it was founded on different values.
Nobody knows the relationship better than you and your partner which why when taking input from external sources it is important to validate it and talk about it with your partner.
However, aside from all these coping mechanisms and solutions to solve the problem, there is one word that may trigger the equilibrium for everything that’s happening and that is respect.
Respect your partner’s decisions, respect the problem, and respect every aspect of your married life. Things may not work always for you and you must accept that.
However, to ensure that things would not lead to another with the ultimate result of a broken relationship. Respect and trust are two things that must be present in every situation in a marriage, these things may be intangible but they sure will lead to a healthy relationship.
If you respect each other, you will make balanced decisions naturally and balanced decisions are exactly what you need if you want your situation to progress.
Feature Image: Shutterstock.com
In-Post Image: Shutterstock.com